Well, I managed to miss January as well, but I will attribute that to taking care of a newborn. Here are the things on my mind lately:
1) I love watching my 3 year-old interact with her baby sister. She is so gentle and loving with her. When she comes home from daycare she is excited to see me, but then changes her voice and makes a fuss over her sister. I am loving it! She is also very helpful when it's diaper changing time. She has it down to a science: she brings me a diaper, the wipes and the bum cream. Then she throws away the used diaper in the trash. She is definitely Mommy's Little Helper. I can only hope that she continues to adore her sister ("Mommy, she's cute") and that jealousy does not pop into the mix.
2) I am dying to be cleared to exercise. I had an emergency C-section with the baby (that is a WHOLE story in and of itself) and am anxious to be able to pick up heavier items. I tend to be one who likes to organize and move things around and not being able to is getting me antsy. My husband is keeping a close watch on me to be sure I don't do anything silly that will thwart my recovery. He is a good man...and knows me way too well...
3) I am finding it tougher this time around. Going from one child to two really is a huge adjustment. The older one is a Mommy's Girl and I hate seeing the disappointment in her eyes when she asks me to play with her and I tell her she has to wait her turn (or that I can't) because I am feeding the baby (which seems to be most of the time these days). I hope she doesn't feel neglected or pushed aside, but then again, there are many times that I have the baby in my arms and will still attempt to play Hide 'n Seek or bust a move with my older one. I do what I can and have to realize that I cannot do everything. When the baby is asleep, even if I am tired, I am trying to give some one-on-one to my older one. I will not lie: it is tough and exhausting at times...but I want my little girl to keep smiling and will find other times to rest...
4) I wish we were in our own house. We rent a townhouse in a nice complex with really nice neighbors, but I long to have our own place with a backyard and a basement. Something to call our own. We hope to make that change within the next 2 years. I really hope we can do it because I find that it is something missing from my life ~ a place to put our personal stamp on.
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5) I have been leaning on my husband's incredible understanding a lot these past few weeks. He is on his paternity leave (and has one more week left) and has been great about taking a few hours here and there to get me out of the house on my own (even if it's just to run errands) while he takes care of the baby. I wonder how I will be when he goes back to work and I no longer have the option of escape. Lately, the baby has been fussy and crying (the complaining kind) more often. She often just wants to be held when she is not feeding, but I am constantly in a state of "attachment". Tonight she gave my husband a hard time while I met up with a friend for a few hours and when I got home he said he couldn't understand how I do it without going crazy. he had a renewed sense of what my day is like with the baby's demands on me. You do what you need to and try to tell yourself you know it will get better. She is not colicky, she is really calm when in that state, but man, when she is upset, she lets it fly! I do not complain because I know it is trivial and not as rough as many others have it. In fact, most of the time her "episodes" are not very long. They do wear me down just due to sheer numbers of times she needs to feed sometimes, but she is not sending my to my wits' end. I do admit that I am looking forward to when she can be a little more interactive and start to be more present in her surroundings so that I do not have to be her whole universe.
Keep on smiling!
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